I found out on Sunday 3 weeks ago I needed to make a decision. I decided to ask Heavenly Father. I prayed about it Sunday night before I went to bed. I prayed and pondered about it Monday morning while I commuted to work. I pondered about it while at work and once again coming home from work. Tuesday I done the same thing. Pondering and praying about it while driving to work. This time it was different. I had a small simple thought I almost passed over because it was so simple. I thought about it while I was working and decided to act on that prompting. After I got home and before I went to bed, I read my patriarchal blessing due to that simple thought/prompting while driving to work of "read your patriarchal blessing". I thought that maybe since it had been a few weeks since I had read it, it had just crossed my mind. Nope. I was wrong. Wednesday passed by and I made my decision while driving to work. All because of a simple prompting. It was not a typical answer of yes or no, but an answer of "read your patriarchal blessing". In my blessing I already had the answer to my question and just needed a simple reminder of that answer and personal revelation Heavenly Father gave me when I got my patriarchal blessing. No its not the answer I was expecting, but I am grateful for the answer anyways.
Now that some time has passed (3 weeks isn't long, but it has been long enough for me to ponder on personal revelation a little more) I am able to look back and think about the whole experience and personal revelation in general. I have learned a few things in the process.
1) Take all problems and questions to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They really do know what they are doing. Even though the answer I got was not what I wanted, the answer I did get has allowed me a deeper understanding of my patriarch blessing and a glimmer of hope to hold onto until that part of my blessing is fulfilled.
2) There is more ways to say no then no. My question I had was "Is it time for me to take out my endowments?" my answer was "read your patriarchal blessing". Now, I have to say, not all answers come that quickly. I did not expect an answer so quickly. It surprised me actually. My answer was really a "not yet but you will go through someday soon. Dont give up."
3) Sometimes the Lord just has to bring to remembrance things we already know. As soon as I had the thought "read your patriarchal blessing", I knew what my answer was because I read my patriarchal often enough when I am going though a trial and when I have that thought, I can see exactly in my minds eye what part of my patriarchal blessing is sticking out and is an answer to my question.
4) Heavenly Father still blesses His children no matter their choices/decisions. Lately I haven't been the greatest at daily prayer and scripture study and I haven't felt like I should get an answer that fast due to my knowledge of all the scriptures that say (and I am paraphrasing here) "if you are slow to remember the lord the lord is slow to remember you". I knew it would take some time to get an answer because I have been slow to remember and stay close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father did answer my pray and question and so quickly.
5) Heavenly Father and Jesus really are aware of me, my struggles, my desires, and they know me better then i know myself. How cool is that? Think of it this way, have you ever saw something at the store and a person instantly pops into your mind with a thought similar to "if so-and-so saw this they would flip out!?!" In that instant, you know that person so well, you just know they would LOVE it. Heavenly Father and Jesus know that with each and every single person/individual on earth in the past, right now, and all who will come on earth in the future.
Dont give up hope. Life does get better. Heavenly Father and Jesus loves you and wants to bless you.
